A Challenge for Every Facebook User

By Michal Marcol, published on 07 February 2013

Stock Photo - image ID: 100138412

Do you think you could stand to tell the truth about your life on Facebook?

People have always been concerned with appearances, particularly when trying to make other people jealous or trying to fluff up their otherwise boring lives. The idea of lying or exaggerating one's life is nothing new. However, we're no longer just showing off to our neighbors; we're showing off to the world. 

 Sarah Emily Tuttle-Singer writes about "Fakebooking," and the pitfalls of lying about our lives on Facebook for the world to see. Facebook and other social media sites allow us to broadcast every detail of our lives to anyone willing to pay attention. We no longer have to wait to run into friends at the supermarket to brag about how our daughter is doing well in grad school, we can now update our "followers" the instant our son was kind enough to take the trash out-WITHOUT being told (such a good boy)! 

Not only do small and insignificant events become productions that make our children and spouses seem superhuman, but we are able to morph the realities of our mundane lives. More importantly though, we are now able to provide evidence for our lies. Pictures are only posted when we're smiling (and have our chins tilted just right so as to avoid the dreaded double chin), so we always look like we are thin and well dressed. We only update when something good happens, making it seem as though our lives are one wonderful event after another. We "check in" to cities, towns, shops, and landmarks, taking pictures of everything we do, to make it seem as though we are adventurous, always out of the house, and enjoying what life has to offer. We tag our friends in posts to make it seem as though we are so close with one another, and that we are thoughtful and caring friends.

We know our individual truths, though. We have our fat days, our bad hair days, and days where we don't get out of sweatpants. Good things don't happen that often, in fact we all have more stressful than inspirational thoughts on any given day. When we constantly upload pictures of what we're doing what we are really doing is preoccupying ourselves with technology rather than enjoying and living our lives. And most of us wish we were closer with our friends, but with lives so busy we probably haven't seen these friends in person for some time, if our Facebook friends are people we actually know in the real world.

It is my belief that when we focus on trying to make it seem that we are more successful and happy we miss out on enjoying our actual successes and happiness. When we are more concerned with posting pictures of our relationships looking perfect, we spend less time nurturing these relationships with genuine conversations and sharing. Let's start a movement. If you insist on using Facebook often (as I do), make a concerted effort to accurately reflect the life you live, and spend more time actually living the life you want.

Mental Health Databases: The New Executive Order?

In a September post, I addressed the Navy Yard Shooter's suspected mental illness and the consequences of this revelation. Recently, in the official report on the Newton Shootings, it was found that the shooter was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, a mild form of Autism, in addition to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Anxiety. Study and study show that the link between mental illness and violence is NOT that clear; in fact, there confounding factors that are related to both that are more predictive of violence (socioeconomic status, history of being a victim of violence, history of incarceration, substance use and abuse, employment status, housing, etc). However, these factors are almost always overlooked in favor of a mental illness diagnosis.

By franky242, published on 03 January 2014 Stock Photo - image ID: 100225387

Executive Order 9066 signed by President Roosevelt during World War II created internment camps for Japanese Americans on the West Coast in order to prevent them from access to any military areas. The order was enacted in order to secure the safety of the American people and military, and to quell public hysteria that Japanese individuals were a threat to national security. Now we are facing a similar hysteria as the outcry for banning guns and restricting the rights of those with a mental illness grows louder. In fact, while some legislation has aimed at the severely mentally ill only, policies are in place in over twenty states that call for a Mental Health Database which contains the names of individuals who received mental health treatment.

By Ambro, published on 04 April 2011Stock Photo - image ID: 10036553

What is "mental health treatment"? It's counseling. It's talk therapy. It's going to a licensed professional when you are struggling with your spouse, your children, your job, or basically any aspect of your life. Counseling is offered at many jobs free of charge through employee assistance programs, and has been proven to be a beneficial resource. However, there is already a stigma for those who seek counseling, and with the added potential of risking one's confidentiality it is hard to image that people will be more inclined to seek help, if willing at all. 


Is a national database of mental health patients the new executive order leading to the marginalization of those who want to get help in a confidential way? Interestingly enough, the Newton shooter was engaged in counseling, and his therapist(s) found nothing alarming with him; they found no reasons to believe that he would have ever harmed anyone. What will happen when those who desperately need help, those who would commit heinous acts of violence, are so turned off by the idea of a mental health database that they do not even step foot into a doctor's office? Will we resort to even stricter rules of mandated treatment to ensure that the mentally ill are screened kept from society for our own safety? 
In order to protect the rights of ourselves and others, we must make sure we do not perpetuate stereotypes, or trust in the promise of safety without being shown how a law or policy has been researched and illustrated to be successful. We must be vigilant in doing our own research, and be comfortable questioning those who think they have the answers. 

Texting is Making us Dumber, Shallower, and Less Empathetic

Every generation thinks that new technology is going to lead to the downfall of our society. This time, though, they may be right.

By imagerymajestic, published on 16 July 2012

Stock Photo - image ID: 10092529 from Freedigitalphotos.net

A new study from the University of Winnipeg shows that "Those who text more than 100 times a day were 30% less likely to feel strongly that leading an ethical, principled life was important to them...Higher texting frequency was also consistently associated with higher levels of ethnic prejudice."

Although face paced social media such as Facebook and Twitter allow for increased connections with others, the connections are superficial at best. Replacing face to face or even voice contact with other people with short text based messages reduces the opportunities to reflect on what is being said, and allows room for tremendous misinterpretations. Without real human connection, teenagers and young adults are being less familiar with body language, reading facial emotions and social cues, and do not have patience to engage in thought provoking conversations. 

If we wish to be seen as more than the collectives of our social media projections then we must engage and cultivate that which makes us uniquely human, the ability to connect with one another beyond words.