The Grass is Always Greener is Someone Else's Profile Picture

The use of social networking sites such as Facebook have gained popularity in the last decade with teenagers, young adults, and adults alike. While there are benefits to the ability to connect electronically with friends, recent research studies have illustrated a potentially damaging effect on well-being. In particular, envy plays a mediating role in the relationship between Facebook use and decreased affect and increased depressive symptoms.

Jenna Meyerberg Presenting at the American Mental Health Counseling Association's Annual Conference

Click to view my AMHCA Presentation: 

The Grass is Always Greener in Someone Else's Profile Pictures

(Use the arrows at the bottom of the screen in order to move through the slides)

For more information on the impact of Facebook on well-being,  please feel free to email me!

Real Patriots Support Bruce Jenner

Bruce Jenner's recent announcement to transition has re-kindled a (not so) new national discussion on transgendered individuals and human sexuality. Some, maybe most people don't "get it." Is it a choice? Is it a psychiatric illness? Did he just wake up one morning and decide to be a woman? Let me show you the light.

It's not a choice. Think about it this way, have you ever known of an individual who was welcomed warmly, unconditionally, and without hesitation for coming out as transgendered? More often than not, when a person comes out they are shunned, they are mocked, they are cast away by family and friends, and that is if they're lucky. All too often these individuals are harmed physically, sometimes fatally. Why would anyone choose a lifestyle that would put their family, friends, career, and life in jeopardy?

I saw a pair of Manolo Blahnik pumps that are totally worth it.

When it comes to being accepted by others, it would be so much easier if transgendered individuals just kept it to themselves and went along to go along. The fact that millions of people have come out as transgendered despite the emotional, psychological, and physical repercussions is a testament to the genuineness and sincerity of the need to come out.



The issue of classification as a psychiatric illness is more complex. "But it's in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (fifth edition) as a mental illness!" Yes, that is true, but it's place in there it not without controversy among the psychological community. Originally known as "Gender Identity Disorder," the new diagnosis of "Gender Dysphoria" seeks to eliminate the stigma assigned to this population. One of the biggest reasons that it has remained in the DSM5 is to help transgendered people to receive the care needed through insurance reimbursement; that is to say, should an individual have Gender Dysphoria, any treatments such as hormones, surgeries, even mental health care may not be covered by insurance were it not for this classification. Now, for those of you who do not think insurances should cover this cost anyway, just think about the slippery slope of allowing insurance companies to pick and choose which illnesses and diseases to cover. What if insurance companies decided not to cover any psychiatric illnesses that could theoretically be treated without medication?

Listen to the full Weird Al Discography, that should do the trick.

Mental illnesses have a level of stigma attached to them, perhaps because the 75% of the country who have never experienced a mental illness cannot appreciate what it is like to be betrayed by your own brain; depression isn't sadness, you can't just think yourself happy. Anxiety is not just worry, there is no amount of logical reassurance that will make it go away. Addiction is more than willpower, it is biological. And so is Gender Dysphoria. Gender identity is formed as young as 4 years of age. We all have a memory of when we first realized we were boys or girls. Overwhelming research supports that transgendered people have these same thoughts at that same age, without any coaching, prompting, or training. It is innate.

But let's suspend that fact. What if Bruce Jenner and Chaz Bono both just woke up one morning and decided they wanted to switch genders?

Now that's a Freaky Friday we can all enjoy.

Look, I get it, Archie Bunker sang about when girls were girls and men were men, and I can appreciate the gut feeling some people have about just not understanding why a man becomes a woman, it seems unnatural. I'm here to say, so what? We live in a country where people are free to express their genders in any way they want, and transition biological sexes so that their lives are whole and complete, and it's a beautiful and amazing place. I am a fierce defender of individual rights and freedoms, and I know I have readers that are, too. So fight for these peoples' rights to live a happy life, fight for them to live without fear of being fired, excommunicated, ostracized from family and friends, fight for them to live their lives in the freedom that this country is known for. Real patriots support Bruce Jenner, because even if you don't like what he is doing, you still believe in a country of freedom of expression.

Juno Aftermath: Why Did We Watch 24 Hours of Snow Coverage for a Disappointing Snow?

The great blizzard of 2015 came in like a lion and went out like a lamb shorn of her woolly fleece; embarrassed and disappointing to look at. However, in the day leading up to what was hyped up to be the storm of the century, our daily routines came to a screeching halt; halfway through “The Price is Right” television viewers were subjected to panicked news reporters urging people to stay off the roads, make sure they had enough supplies to last them days indoors, call their loved ones and let them know how much they mean to them. At 4pm, CBS decided that the 5 o’clock and 6 o’clock news hours were simply not enough to discuss this snow storm, and instead of airing Judge Judy (as I had been looking forward to all day), spent an extra hour repeating what has already been said. Al Roker created “Rokerthon” in which he spent HOURS ON END narrating what was happening outside our windows. The Onion, always on point with pop culture satire, accurately captured the ridiculousness of our dooms day predictions by publishing the article, “NYC Mayor: ‘Reconcile Yourselves with Your God, ForAll Will Perish in the Tempest.’” I’ll admit it, I bought into the hype a little bit. I stocked up on junk food, I built a tent out of sheets in my room, I took a quiz on Buzzfeed titled “What you should watch on Netflix during the Blizzard.” But it was all tongue in cheek for me, recognizing that there was no real need to panic. However, that was not the case for many who spent the day holed up inside watching their televisions for minute by minute updates. Now, the morning after, many people are filled with disappointed sentiments, wondering what the heck happened and whether or not it was important for DeBlasio to put on his Chris Christie fleece and address his constituents, particularly during Judge Judy.

"Worst. Blizzard. Ever."

Psychologists have gained insight into the phenomenon of information seeking behavior and peoples' reactions in the face of threat. Interestingly enough, psychologists (See Carey, 2014, Lane, 2009, and Rock, 2009) have found that public hysteria catches like wildfire, even in the absence of a genuine threat. Explained through the Ebola scare of 2014, Carey noted that risks are often judged by both reasoning as well as emotional responses. Emotion can often overtake reasoning, especially if the emotions are stoked by repeated images of previous natural disasters and news anchors repeating warnings nonstop. If people feel threatened, they will act accordingly, despite evidence that there is no real threat. In order to quell this mounting fear, people need to feel that they can trust those supplying information. 

Let’s return to my disappointment in not being able to watch the sassy rulings of Judge Judy.  Lane and Rock  addresses this repetition of information as a form of quenching the basic human need for information. Both psychologists assert through their research that there is a biological desire for knowledge and information on a neural level, driven by a need for certainty. When people receive this information, there is a reward. When people feel rewarded for watching Countdown to Snowpacolypse on the news, they are more likely they are to stay tuned, and the higher that news stations’ ratings, and thus the constant barrage of snow updates and risk management plans throughout the day.We manage threats by making predictions, because making predictions makes us feel better about an uncertain future. 

How Does Life Get So Bad That You Kill Robin Williams?

Getty Images taken from http://screencrush.com/good-will-hunting-then-and-now/

I was riding home with a good friend when I got a text that read, "Robin Williams killed himself." "You were the first person I thought of when I found out," many of them said. "You're weirdly calm right now," my friend whom I was with said, "I expect you to freak out any minute."

At 11:30pm I laid down to go to sleep, and I haven't stopped tossing and turning. This wasn't a man I had ever met, and yet he has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I idolized him, the way he made people laugh, his impressions, and as a little girl I used to imitate him to make my friends laugh. Like so many people my age, I grew up with his characters. I grew up memorizing the lines to his movies. His talent for comedy inspired me, and his dramatic roles mesmerized me. I have been able to appreciate his work as both a child and as an adult, and even share my affinity for him with both my father and grandfather.

But you can pick anyone my age to talk to about Robin Williams, and chances are you would hear a similar story. So why was I the first person my friends thought of when they heard the news? Maybe it was because they know that I can't go a day without making a "Mrs. Doubtfire" reference. However, while not quite as advertised as my love for Euviginia Doubtfire, I shared something with the actor: depression. The deep, dense fog that clouds our minds, numbs our senses, and devours our will to stay engaged in life itself. That much we had in common.

Depression is not a feeling, it is a disease. It is an illness. It doesn't care if you are well-off, loved, surrounded by friends and family, successful; in fact, many of us with depression are those things, which makes it nearly impossible to find validation for how we are feeling. It isn't normal to have a good life and still wish that you didn't have to wake up the next morning. And yet, for those of us who have felt the deadening weight of depression, we know too well how that reality is possible.

Depression is not logical, nor is it reasonable. Depression takes wonderful, amazing people, and turns them into bullies, hate mongers, and killers. We bully ourselves, we talk to ourselves worse than we would talk to our enemies, and for some the pain is so great that they resort to killing themselves. One reason that this death has shaken so many people is because we are confronted by the reality of how depression takes over someone's life, someone good, someone funny and beloved. We are equally horrified at the reality of his death and the manner in which it was met. How could this man we all loved take a life? How could he take the life of a beloved, generous, kind man? How did his depression get so great that he had to kill Robin Williams? 

I can't get that thought out of my head. The thought that a man I so loved was struggling so deeply, that he felt killing himself was his only way to end the pain. We all know what it is like to feel pain, some of us greater than others. When we stop and think about how much he was suffering, how can we not break down? 

I am so sorry that you suffered. I am so sorry that no other treatment helped, or showed you a different way to peace. Even as I write this, my Genie doll, still in the box, looks at me with a goofy smile on his face, ready to sing a song, or do a quick Groucho Marx impression. That's who you were to so many. That's who you were to me. You will never stop being an inspiration in my life. 

Disney's Aladdin

Can you Know if a Broken Mind is Healed? Thoughts on Mental Health Care Parity

"President Obama’s latest effort to divert public attention ignores a fundamental problem: it’s much easier to know when a broken bone has healed than a broken mind.  That ambiguity opens the door to overtreatment and fraud." - Forbes.com, "New Mental Health Mandate Will Make Obamacare More Expensive, Increase Fraud And Canceled Policies"

Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Before you assume that all of us therapists are out there for your time and money, please take a deep breath and consider the benefits of mental health parity.

Now, I am usually all for a more conservative approach to treatment, both medical and psychological. A good counselor will know when a client no longer needs treatment. A great counselor will actively work with a client to ensure that they are not in treatment longer than is absolutely necessary for his or her health. 

Having an academic and professional background in counseling, I am trained to assess, conceptualize, and put together treatment plans for my clients. Sometimes symptoms warrant a diagnosis, but when diagnosing can be avoided I am of the camp that believe that it should. It stands then to reason that many would find it suspect that one's treatment can be ever finished; if the problem has no name, how can there be a treatment? If there is no standardized treatment, how can you know what a successful outcome would be? And if you can't measure the outcome, how can you ever truly be finished?

 If you are seeing any professional counselor, you have the right to know what treatment modality your therapist is using, and you should ask him or her. All licensed therapists are required to use only empirically supported treatments that are appropriate for your unique situation, and have been shown to be effective. Similar to doctors who have taken the Hippocratic oath, counselors too are ethically bound to do no harm to clients and provide only treatment that is efficacious and appropriate. That is not to say that there aren't swindlers out there, but to view the profession as fraudulent is grossly untrue.

Regarding length of treatment, if you, the client, never left therapy, it would mean that our work together isn't really working, and that would make me, the therapist, a failure. And trust me, therapists do not want to fail their clients. Long gone are the days of psychoanalysis which took years to finally uncover the unconscious. Today, most providers utilize brief and concise empirically supported treatment modalities that are specifically designed to achieve symptom relief quicker and more efficiently. 

Treatment outcomes are not vague, in fact, they should be specific and discussed from the initial session. So if you are concerned that you will be stuck forever in treatment, make sure you know what it is you hope to accomplish...For some the goal is less frequent arguing with a spouse. For others it is being able to go from a 6 on a scale of sadness (1-10) to a 3. There are measurable goals in therapy, and if you are working with a good therapist they are attainable.

In previous posts I address the stigma of mental illness and the difficulty many have in getting treatment. Sometimes the difficulty lies in treatment being not affordable, or simply not covered by insurance. Is it possible that some people in this country take advantage of benefits? Yes. However, with 1 in 4 of us experiencing clinical depression in our lifetimes, to ignore the necessity and validity of therapy would be unethical. And yes, it is true also that there are professionals and paraprofessionals out there who would gladly take advantage of you and keep you coming as long as they could. But then again, don't we see that with nearly every other profession, too? 

There is a fine balance between appropriate treatment and over treatment in both mental and medical healthcare. However, there are far more serious and sincere medical and psychological cases that need attention. As long as health care professionals are held accountable for the efficacy and necessity of their treatment, mental health parity should help our neighbors get back to living and loving the life they have.

In response to Fort Hood: Are Counselors Doing Their Job?

Image courtesy of Gualberto107 / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

After the news of the Fort Hood shooting perpetrated by Spc. Ivan Lopez, who was being treated for anxiety, depression and evaluated for post-traumatic stress disorder, many have speculated about the quality and efficacy of care being given to our veterans. To the lay person, it seems that the mental health system failed not only Lopez, but his victims and their families. How could someone in treatment commit such heinous crimes? Certainly the counselor must have missed some major red flags, or perhaps therapy just doesn't work at all.

As a counselor who has worked directly with individuals struggling with anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder, I can assure you that therapy does work. Can it work miracles? Can it work for everyone in every situation? Perhaps not. But study after study, year after year, support the efficacy of mental health counseling overall. In fact, with roughly 25% of the country meeting diagnostic criteria for a mental illness at any given point, therapy is a vital part of the healthcare system and integral in helping individuals, couples, and families live productive lives.

The real issue is not whether or not counseling in and of itself works; the bigger issue is whether or not the counseling at Fort Hood works. Recall that Fort Hood had previously experienced a massive shooting in November of 2009, ironically perpetrated by a psychiatrist. In an article from WDN by Chelsea Schilling, an independent news network, the limitations and barriers to quality mental health care are discussed in detail. Shockingly, Fort Hood has been using free tests found on the internet to evaluate the psychological health of soldiers. Not only is this unethical, as these free tests may not have been designed for such purposes, but this is preposterous. Psychological tests are created by seasoned researchers, and take years and several trials before being widely used as measures for a given diagnosis. They are statistically proven to be both valid and reliable, and cost money in part due to the extensive research that goes into their development. While I am not saying that Fort Hood is using any old test found online, it is troubling that their mental health department is not utilizing, perhaps due to budgetary confinements, proven methods of psychological testing. If we ourselves needed medical attention, we would not want our diagnosis or condition to be evaluated by methods that have not been proven effective or valid. Why would we ever think it is okay to use potentially ineffective tools to treat mental health issues?

Furthermore, inadequate funds are perhaps the least of the barriers to providing quality care for Fort Hood soldiers. Wait-lists upwards of a few months for treatment, an incredible 1 : 50,000 ratio of trained neuropsychologists to solders, and reported forced retirement of senior mental health professionals are among the short list of hurdles. This, in my humble opinion, is unacceptable. The men and women of our national services do not merely deserve respect, but they deserve to be treated for their psychological and emotional wounds with the same care and attention as they are treated for physical wounds.

As a nation, we need to be more aware of the conditions in which we welcome our veterans home, and we need to advocate for better care for them. We can start by being informed. Did the mental health system fail?I cannot say with any degree of certainty one way or another, as the details of his treatment remain confidential. However, it is clear to me that the mental health system was failed by larger systems, and has not been supported enough to provide the absolute best care to our returning soldiers.

Why Zero Tolerance Policies Don't Work

In an earlier post, I addressed the issues of one school's zero tolerance policy on being in the presence of alcohol. One girl made the decision to save her friend from potentially driving drunk herself, getting into the car with a drunk driver, or being taken advantage of at a party. In her attempt to save her friend by acting as a designated driver, her high school punished her for being in the presence of a party with alcohol. Not even the polices' statement that she had no involvement in the party could help her.

Today we have a new example of the unintended consequences of zero tolerance. East Lee County High School in Florida has a zero tolerance policy on fights; who started it or why it started is irrelevant. If you are involved in a fight in any way, shape, or form, you will be suspended. And so, Mark Betterson, who intervened on behalf of a student who was being bullied for his sexual orientation, is now facing a 10 day suspension.

Photo by Fox4

What is interesting is that Florida is notorious for their "stand your ground law" which protects the right to self defense. It is clear that his intentions were not to fight but actually to prevent harm to another individual, which relates to the Florida law that allows individuals to protect themselves from
others who are doing wrong. In this case, not only was Betterson acting in self defense (the bully swung at him first for stepping in), but he was doing so on behalf of a student who was also in danger.

Controversy of the stand your ground law aside, the zero tolerance policy of the school does not allow for the intricacies of human thought and behavior. When schools do not take into account the moral heroism Betterson illustrated in addressing his involvement in a fight, acts of compassion are less likely to occur. The message to Betterson and all others who would defend a fellow student is that you should not take any action yourself, even if it is to protect another person.

The school system in both Betterson's case and the young girl who acted to protect her drunk friend systematically punish everyone the same regardless of the circumstances or motives. Is this the way we want to teach our children right from wrong? The consequences for this type of punishment are immense. We need to encourage our children to realize that right and wrong are not black and white, and perhaps there is greater value in protecting another person rather than abiding by the school's rigid zero tolerance policy.

Unless, of course, we no longer value compassion for the suffering of others, and it is more important to do what you are told rather than what you believe is right.